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Sometimes the Quill takes on a life all its own! | The Original Satiric Quill
The Original Satiric Quill
Satiric Quill | The Original Satiric Quill | Satire Writing, Satire News, Humor
Sometimes the Quill takes on a life all its own!


Archive for the ‘Articles’


Tips for Bathing Your Cat, How to Bathe Your Cat and Live to Tell About It

Cats in general do not need to be bathed. But there will inevitably be times that your pet cat will need some help with a bath. Bathing a cat can be a fearful thing, but with these helpful tips, you are sure to survive giving your pet cat a bath.

Mother cats teach their kittens early on to bathe and clean themselves. Cats primp and groom themselves throughout the day, keeping their coats clean. It’s rare that a cat owner will need to bathe their cat. But circumstances might arise that call for bathing, such as sickness or fleas, getting dirty from being outside, skin irritations, etc.

Most cats will naturally heavily resist a bath and getting into water. This is where the battle of wills from the cat owner and cat meets the need for the cat owner to survive and keep their body intact. Being prepared ahead of time will help both you and your cat to live over the bathing process.

Decide where you will bathe your cat. Ideally, you will want to use the bathroom because it’s a small area and you can close the door to prevent the cat from escaping as you seek to bathe it. The kitchen sink is not a good idea unless it has doors that you close to keep the cat in the room.

Run the water into the sink or tub ahead of time, making sure the water is nice and warm. Putting a cat into cold water will not be a good thing, and neither do you want to put the cat into water that’s too hot. Test the water as soon as you run it, making sure it’s a comfy temperature for your pet cat. If you use the kitchen sink, remember that it will be somewhat slippery on the bottom and it might be more difficult to hold the cat. A cat that’s sliding all over the sink will be more difficult to bathe. Consider putting a folded towel in the bottom of the sink to help prevent sliding.

Get all of the supplies that you will need and have them within arms reach of where you will bathe the cat. You will need a towel, pet or baby shampoo, and something to rinse the cat with such as a cup or bowl. If you have a long haired cat and the hair is matted, you might wish to snip the matted areas away before beginning to bathe the cat.

When you have all the cat bathing supplies ready and the water is run, take the cat to the room where you will do the bathing and close the door behind you. You might need a protective towel around your hands and arms to prevent the cat from scratching you to pieces.

Ease the cat into the water. It’s normal that your pet cat will most likely begin to freak out and fight to stay out of the water. Stay calm and continue to slowly ease the cat into the water. While there are some cats that love the water, most do not like being in the water whatsoever, and the cat will struggle to stay out of the bath water.

Once the cat is in the water, gently but firmly hold the cat in place and begin wetting the cat in preparation for the pet shampoo or baby shampoo. If the cat is still struggling, resist the urge to raise your voice at the cat. Talk sweetly and calmly to the cat as you continue to hold it with one hand and wet it with the cup or bowl.

Apply the shampoo quickly and work it into the cat’s fur. Use only a little as the cat’s body is small and doesn’t need a great amount of shampoo. Start with the cat’s head and work your way down the cat’s body. Work fast as you massage the shampoo in. If you are using any type of shampoo other than baby shampoo, be careful not to get the shampoo into the cat’s eyes as this will cause a burning sensation. And it won’t help you in holding the cat in place.

You will very likely be getting wet right about now while holding a cat that is probably freaking out at the idea that you had the nerve to put it into the water. Then again, the cat might be just sitting there nicely, enjoying the pampering. Continue to talk in a sweet and calm voice to the cat as you bathe it.

After you have the shampoo worked into the cat’s fur, use the bowl or cup and rinse the cat as fast as possible. Be sure to rinse the fur well. Leaving any residue shampoo will likely cause the cat’s skin to become irritated, and that would mean a repeat bath in a short period of time. Gently flip the cat over and rinse the underneath well, holding the cat in a gentle but firm grip.

Now that the cat is bathed, gently lift the cat out of the water and wrap it in the waiting towel. Cuddle the cat, telling the cat what a great job it did by getting a bath and remaining in the water as you bathed it. Be aware that some cats will take revenge on the cat owner who bathed it by leaving a nice deposit in a place that it normally would not.

Popularity: 65% [?]

Muhammad (Mohammed) the Teddy Bear and Blasphemy, When Naming a Teddy Bear Can Cost You Your Life

The story has made international news headlines. Gillian Gibbons, a 54 year old teacher from Britain who went to Sudan to teach, has been arrested. Her crime? She allowed her 7 year old students in her class to name their stuffed teddy bear Muhammad (Mohammed).

What’s more ludicrous is that she was sentenced to 15 days in prison and deportation. She faced up to six months in prison and 40 lashes. Even worse? People in Sudan are now in the streets calling for Gillian Gibbons to be executed …. over a stuffed teddy bear.

Ms. Gibbons has been moved from the women’s prison she was being held at to a new secret location, in an attempt to protect her life. It’s good that the government is at least trying to protect her, from them.

If the situation wasn’t so horrible for Ms. Gibbons, it would be funny. The very idea of all of this is hard for most Americans to fathom. Being executed over a stuffed teddy bear name? Being flogged 40 times for allowing little children in a classroom to name a teddy bear Muhammad (Mohammed)? Facing six months in prison for it? Ending up still serving 15 days in prison? All over a stuffed teddy bear name?

I cannot imagine what must be going through the mind and heart of Gillian Gibbons. She leaves her country and goes to a country to teach, to help others, to make a difference. One can only imagine her thoughts when told she was under arrest for naming a teddy bear and insulting islam by doing do.

The name Mohammed (Muhammad) is a very common name for male Muslims. That leaves one to wonder why little kids, who chose that name, are witnessing such nonsense from the government of Sudan over the treatment of their teacher. One has to wonder if the Sudan government even realizes just how all of this looks not only to those little kids but to the rest of the world watching in disbelief.

There’s a lot of beauty in this world…. a kind word, loving hearts, people who give and help, friends that are there no matter what, cuddly stuffed teddy bears. And there’s a lot of ugly in the world….hateful words, hateful hearts, people that take and never help, people that have no idea what a friend is, and people who want to hurt those that love stuffed teddy bears.

I take a lot of things in my life for granted. I’m an American, and it seems we do that. We can work almost any place we want to. We can go almost any place we want to. We can sit up all night if we want to. We can talk any way we please. We have the privilege of dissing our president if we choose to. We can speak out minds, and God knows some of us do that and often. We can live where we want to live. As Americans, we enjoy a lot of rights and privileges. Men and women have fought and died, and lived, to give us those privileges. I’m grateful for that.

But until today, I never realized just how blessed we are as Americans. We live in a country that allows us to name our teddy bears as we see fit, without reprisal, without worrying about being executed for what we name our teddy bear. We can name our stuffed teddy bear and not worry about being whipped 40 lashes in public, or having to spend six months in prison, or even 15 days in prison. Nor are we deported when we name our teddy bears.

No, this is America, the land of the free and the brave. Our teddy bears can be named what we wish to name them. The little kids in class are free to name their teddy bear anything they chose to and the teacher won’t be all over the world media because of it. The teacher won’t have to worry about the school secretary turning her in because of what she chose to allow as the teddy bear name.

I never met this prophet Muhammad or Mohammad. He was a bit bit before my time. But I suspect he would be appalled at how this teacher is being treated, in his name. And I suspect that had soft and cuddly teddy bears been around when he lived, he would have had a a soft and cuddly teddy bear as a child. And I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he named his teddy bear after himself, Muhammad or Mohammad.

May God bring Gillian Gibbons home safe and sound. And perhaps may He also shower those people who wish her harm with warm and cuddly teddy bears to bring some love and cuddliness into their lives and hearts.

Popularity: 45% [?]

Policeman’s Taunts to Driver Caught on Video

St. George, MO, (September 13) — Police Sgt. James Kuehnlein gets goes off on a driver, Brett Darrow, 20, who had parked in a commuter lot at about 2 am the morning of September 7. The following, caught on Darrow’s dashboard videocam, was posted to Google and YouTube. The taunting by the police officer is heard for almost ten minutes.

Kuehnlein has been put on unpaid suspension. Perhaps a course in anger management is due?

Popularity: 43% [?]

Dryer Lint Treasures, When Trying to Save Money Goes Way Overboard

I’m a frugal person. I admit it freely. I’m not ashamed of it, rather I’m proud of the fact that I save money here by not wasting it so I can get something I want there. I’m sure we all know of people that are frugal, that don’t waste or throw away money. It’s a great life.

Then there are tightwads…people who are just that, tight with their money. That’s great too. Not wasting money or spending when not necessary is wonderful.

A frugal person manages the money they have, living within their means. Being frugal doesn’t mean being cheap. I know of many frugal people who are well off financially because they manage their money well.

Tightwads can pinch something out of a penny that most of the world never knew existed. They know how to spot a bargain, cut corners, etc. Can’t beat that!

Perhaps you can imagine what was going through my mind when I read something recently from someone asking a question about what to do with dryer lint. It seemed a reasonable question. I suppose that being the somewhat silly person I am, I naturally thought to myself, “Throw it away!”

Needless to say, that was the wrong answer to give to a tightwad, so (lucky for me) I didn’t tell the person that. Reading on, I found people were giving this person all sorts of advice and ideas on what to do with this used dryer lint.

Okay, you know that dryer lint is the stuff on the dryer lint filter screen, right? The fuzz that comes off of the clothing as it dries? I keep (as I am sure most people do) a small trash can beside my dryer to host the collection of used dryer sheets and dryer lint. After reading all of the tips and ideas from people on what to do with this used dryer lint, I have determined that I have wasted a precious treasure. I’m not sure I can live down the horror of having disposed of this host of fuzz.

Have you ever stuffed a pillow with dryer lint? Even better, how about sewing decorative pillows to sell and make money, and stuff dryer lint fuzz into the middle of it to save money on the pillow filling? Wouldn’t that be a blast to find after you bought the pillow? Ever made a bird nest from it? How about a spider web for the kids science project? How about put it in the bottom of a gift to make the person think they really have something more than they have, only to open it and discover dryer lint filling? Anyone ever used their fuzz for kitty litter? I think my favorite was the one I read about using dryer lint in baby’s diaper to absorb you know what…. yeah, that’s a bit icky.

Some of you might be asking this one…..if these people are such tightwads, why are they using a dryer to begin with? Why not a clothes line that doesn’t use power and run up the electric bill? Well, that answer is simple, if you think about it. How would they have the dryer lint to keep and use for these wonderful dryer lint treasures if they saved money to begin with by using the clothes line?

Popularity: 100% [?]

Officer Accused of Choking Skateboarder: Cop Flips Out on Kid Skateboarding

Hot Springs, Arkansas (June 27) — Police officer Joey Williams was recorded going off on kids skateboarding. Now he’s all over the web, thanks to YouTube.

Williams is caught on tape choking a skateboarder after forcing him to the ground. He grabs two others at the same time in a chokehold. Hot Springs City Mayor, Mike Bush, said of the video, “Unfortunately, the video shows it pretty good.”

Unfortunate for who? The officer, Joey Williams? Or for the kids who were skateboarding?

Skateboarding is banned in the area where the kids were at.

Popularity: 43% [?]



Copyright © 2002 - 2008 by Cindy Thomas, editor of Satiric Quill.                            

Satiric Quill | The Original Satiric Quill | Satire Writing, Satire News, Humor
Sometimes the Quill takes on a life all its own!